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Cruz for President
"Cruz Christmas Classics"
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1:30 ad run in IA during Saturday Night Live on Dec. 19, 2015.
[Music]
Male Announcer:
Imagine
the greatest Christmas stories… told by the Senator who once
read Green Eggs and Ham from
the Senate Floor.
Cruz: ’Twas the
night before the Shutdown and all through the House, Not a bill was
stirring, Not even to fund a mouse.
Male Announcer:
A Proven Record presents a festive collection of timeless Christmas
classics, read by the trusted conservative leader, Ted Cruz. Favorites
such as: How Obamacare Stole
Christmas and Rudolph the
Underemployed
Reindeer.
Cruz: All of the
other Reindeer couldn’t afford to hire Rudolph.
Male Announcer:
Act now, and you’ll get a leader who does exactly what he says he’s
going to do. In this case, read festive stories like: Frosty the
Speaker of the House.
Cruz:
Look! The Speaker is melting before Congress!
Male Announcer: And
the
Lois Lerner masterpiece, Auditing
St. Nick.
Cruz: I will
audit him here or there, I will audit him anywhere!
Male Announcer: The
whole
family will enjoy reading stories like, The Grinch Who Lost Her Emails.
Catherine Cruz:
“I know just what I’ll do”, she said with a snicker. “I’ll use my own
server, and no one will be the wiser!”
Male Announcer:
And
if you act now, we’ll throw in the inspiring new Christmas story, soon
to be an instant classic:
Caroline Cruz:
Read this one, Daddy!
Cruz: Okay.
Male Announcer:
The Senator Who Saved Christmas.
Cruz: This is a
good
one...
Male Announcer:
If you are not completely satisfied with this collection of Cruz
Christmas Classics you probably hate Christmas and America.
Cruz: I’m Ted
Cruz and I approve this message.
Notes: An infomercial parody
for the holidays. From the press release:
"The Cruz for President campaign released a new Christmas ad, 'Cruz Christmas Classics'. The ad shows Cruz along with his wife Heidi reading stories to their two daughters. Featuring classics like, How Obamacare Stole Christmas, Rudolph the Underemployed Reindeer, The Grinch Who Lost Her Emails, Frosty The Speaker of the House, and Auditing St. Nick. The ad will run in Iowa during this weekend’s “Saturday Night Live” show.