Cruz for President

"Cruz Christmas Classics" +

1:30 ad run in IA during Saturday Night Live on Dec. 19, 2015.

[Music]

Male Announcer:  Imagine the greatest Christmas stories… told by the Senator who once read Green Eggs and Ham from the Senate Floor.

Cruz:  ’Twas the night before the Shutdown and all through the House, Not a bill was stirring, Not even to fund a mouse.

Male Announcer:  A Proven Record presents a festive collection of timeless Christmas classics, read by the trusted conservative leader, Ted Cruz. Favorites such as: How Obamacare Stole Christmas and Rudolph the Underemployed Reindeer.

Cruz:  All of the other Reindeer couldn’t afford to hire Rudolph.

Male Announcer:  Act now, and you’ll get a leader who does exactly what he says he’s going to do.  In this case, read festive stories like: Frosty the Speaker of the House.

Cruz:  Look!  The Speaker is melting before Congress!

Male Announcer: And the Lois Lerner masterpiece, Auditing St. Nick.

Cruz:  I will audit him here or there, I will audit him anywhere!

Male Announcer: The whole family will enjoy reading stories like, The Grinch Who Lost Her Emails.

Catherine Cruz:  “I know just what I’ll do”, she said with a snicker. “I’ll use my own server, and no one will be the wiser!”

Male Announcer:  And if you act now, we’ll throw in the inspiring new Christmas story, soon to be an instant classic:

Caroline Cruz:  Read this one, Daddy!

Cruz:  Okay.

Male Announcer:  The Senator Who Saved Christmas.

Cruz:  This is a good one...

Male Announcer:  If you are not completely satisfied with this collection of Cruz Christmas Classics you probably hate Christmas and America.

Cruz:  I’m Ted Cruz and I approve this message.

Notes: An infomercial parody for the holidays.  From the press release:

"The Cruz for President campaign released a new Christmas ad, 'Cruz Christmas Classics'. The ad shows Cruz along with his wife Heidi reading stories to their two daughters. Featuring classics like, How Obamacare Stole Christmas, Rudolph the Underemployed Reindeer, The Grinch Who Lost Her Emails, Frosty The Speaker of the House, and Auditing St. Nick. The ad will run in Iowa during this weekend’s “Saturday Night Live” show.